We’ve all been there. You plan what you know is the ultimate girls trip. You book your flight, pack your bags, and head to your destination anticipating a stress-free, relaxing vacation.
But you can’t. There are one or two “friends” who have you wondering if you should’ve just traveled solo or simply left them off of the group text when you extended the invite. Here are some examples of the types of friends who need to be left behind the next time you plan a getaway.
The “Br-oke” Friend
This is the chick who knows that she doesn’t have the money, but doesn’t want to be left out.
So, she scrapes up just enough to get to the destination and then expects you to help carry her for the rest of the trip because she “didn’t know it would be this expensive.” Not today, Satan!
I shouldn’t have to come out of pocket for you unless we’re celebrating your birthday or an emergency arises (such as you losing your wallet). And even then, it’s out of the kindness of my heart and not out of obligation. Next time, don’t ask. You can’t come.
The “Calculator” Friend
This friend isn’t br-oke like your last friend. Nah, she just doesn’t believe in paying one ONE PENNY outside of her part of the bill. She is literally sitting at the table with her iPhone calculator open, ready to tell everyone how much they owe EXACTLY (plus tax and tip). There is never a compromise. If you say, “Let’s just sp-lit the check down the middle or three ways,” the “calculator” friend isn’t having it.
She wants to make sure that she’s not taking on any of your portion of the expenses because “that’s not fair.” Obviously, there should be exceptions.
If you order the hot wings and I order a bottle of champagne, clearly I should take on that bill. But don’t nickel and dime me, sweetie! Put your debit card on the table and your calculator back in your purse!
The “Lit” Friend
Don’t blame it on the al-cohol. Blame it on your lack of maturity because you knew as soon as you drank too much brown liquor, all he-ll was gonna br-eak loose! This friend has either gotten so dr-unk that she’s developed imaginary superhuman powers and thinks that she can fi-ght everybody or she is stumbling, loud, and belligerent to the point where you have to step in and get her back to the room before the both of you catch a case! I CANNOT AND I WILL NOT!
If you are what I call an “amateur drinker” and have a low al-cohol tolerance, learn when to say when and stop ruining everybody’s fun!
The “Stationary” Friend
This friend has the luxury of traveling all the way across the world but doesn’t want to leave the hotel or resort.
WHY. ARE. YOU. HERE?!
There is so much we learn about ourselves by visiting new places and meeting people who look nothing like us. Traveling is about exploring the unknown and discovering new cultures! How are you gonna do that if you’re either sleeping, posted up in the lobby (because that’s the only place the Wi-Fi works) glued to social media, or laying by the pool all day?! You really got a whole passport stamp just to do nothing?! Girl, bye!
The “Dangerously In Love” Friend
She’s the friend with a love interest (whether it be a dating relationship, boyfriend, or husband) that spends the entire trip on the phone with her significant other.
It is understandable that you may want to check in with your love to make sure that all is well or that the kids are fine, etc. But more than two or three calls in a day and uh…he’s stalking you, boo!
I was actually on vacation with a girl who’s husband called (for the third time in one day) just to ask where a particular spice was in the cabinet so that he could cook! If you’re with someone overly possessive or you’re so in looooove that you can’t bear not talking to your significant other every 30 minutes, STAY AT HOME WITH HIM! You’re neglecting yourself and all that can be experienced on your vacation. Not to mention you’re neglecting the person(s) who came along with you!
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