The 12 Golden Rules Of A Relationship
Cultivate positive thoughts about your partner
Scientists have found that having positive thoughts about your partner is vital in relationships. When you focus on the good in your partner’s personal qualities and character, it strengthens your relationship. Bianca Acevedo, Ph.D. and author of a 2009 study conducted by researchers at the University of California in Santa Barbara, noted that couples in good relationships engage in “positive sentiment override.” That means they remember more of the favorable than the unfavorable experiences they’ve shared together, and also give each other the benefit of the doubt.
Honesty Really the Best Policy
Being accused of hiding something from your partner is not a great way to establish trust, which is essential to a good relationship. Do your very best to follow this golden rule that every relationship needs to know because the consequences of being less than honest are lonely and painful. If you are unsure whether to tell your partner about something, ask yourself if they found out another way if they would be upset. Withholding information is likely to not win you any points with your partner either. Flat out lying is definitely frowned upon. Trust, once broken, is never quite the same again.
Keep the Past in the Past
Your past, your partner’s past, and any exes should stay there. The same goes for the mental file of your partner’s past bad behavior. Let it go or the weight of that baggage will drag your relationship down.
Allow your partner More Freedom
No one wants to be caged up, and the more freedom you can allow your partner to have, the greater their appreciation of the wide boundaries that you provide. In a study of breakups and relationship expectations, researchers found that partners who left wished that they had more freedom outside of the relationship.
Give More Than You Receive
Be as supportive as possible to your partner for this golden rule, or your partner may find the support elsewhere. Be the best friend and companion to your partner as well as a romantic mate.
Know Your Partner Well
Provide what your partner likes and needs. Know their love language and give them love in the way in which they like to receive it.
Give each other space — but not too much
No matter how much you adore each other, every couple needs a little elbow room. It’s best to understand each other and how much space you both require in a relationship, and to give each other that space.
Today is not where you will be ten years from now. Where was your partner headed before you met? Did you derail them from reaching their goals? They probably have not forgotten what they dreamed of before they met you, so be supportive of their future goals as well as your own.
Talk with your partner face-to-face
You probably already know that communication is a vital component that determines the quality of any relationship. But, did you know that the method in which you communicate is also critical to the quality of your relationship?
Be Mindful In Your Relationship
Mindfulness of your emotional state, your partner’s feelings, the significance of this moment in the scope of your relationship…all of these are things that deserve our full attention. When we are shielded from experiencing the fullness of our relationship, we miss out on the wonderful moments.
Master the Art of Communication
By communication, we mean listening more than speaking your meaning. The Gottman Institute studied the difference between couples who had divorced after 6 years and those who had stayed together. The difference between divorce and happiness was simple; paying attention to your partner when they express an interest in something versus ignoring them. If your partner is interested in something, they are basically asking you to turn toward them. If you decide to turn away, you deny their request for your attention. Repeated turning away makes your partner feel unloved.
Build Intimacy Outside of have Fun
S..ual passion is not always an enduring factor in long-term relationships, so this golden rule is important to make sure that your relationship has staying power of many intimate moments, shared jokes, joy, laughter, and connectedness that will keep you bonded for life.